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Job Application for Iron Grenadiers
https://www.joecustoms.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=22084
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Author:  Matthew [ Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Job Application for Iron Grenadiers

I was reading some of the IG filecards yesterday and found out something funny.

IG Filecard
Quote:
The Iron Grenadiers are handpicked from Destro's personal bodyguards. They are the spearhead of Destro's incursions into new territory. The Iron Grenadiers, acting as agents, provocateurs, saboteurs, or outright terrorists, impel an unsuspecting country towards chaos and turmoil, thereby creating new markets for Destro's weapons where none existed before. Their pay is a percentage of gross sales.
"Imagine the slickest used car salesman you've ever met. Now imagine that he's also the trickiest accountant in the world. Got that? Try to picture what he would be like if that same guy was also a highly trained commando with expertise in explosives, small arms, and hand-to-hand combat.Top it off with the fact that no other mercenary group in the world wants them because of their history of turning on their superiors. That's what an Iron Grenadier is.


Annihilator Filecard
Quote:
ANNIHILATORS are DESTRO's personal bodyguards and elite airborne assault troops. They can be deployed by sea, air, and land "take-off" with their mini-turbine Heli-packs on their backs and descend upon their target like armored locusts. Annihilators are recruited from the ranks of the Iron Grenadiers. As part oft heir indoctrination into the Annihilator Corps, theymust serve an apprenticeship as hard-sell telephone solicitors, procuring sales for Destro's M.A.R.S. [Military Armaments Research System] armaments corporation. Not only does this help to increase Destro's coffers, but it also reinforces their tenacity and ruthlessness!
"Annihilators don't get any medals, they get shares of stock in M.A.R.S. and active participation in Destro's profit sharing plan! These guys are the ultimate specialists in hostile takeovers!"


I can imagine interviewing for the Iron Grenadier position:
"Great to see you today. I guess you're here to interview for the Iron Grenadier position. Let me ask you, are you a trained Annihilator? Oh, you're not, well you need to interview for the Annihilator position." [walks down the hall] "Great to see you today. I guess you're here to interview for the Annihilator position. How long have you been an Iron Grenadier..."

Anyway, I lol'd over this.

Author:  pluv [ Thu Mar 04, 2010 1:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Job Application for Iron Grenadiers

:destro: "Great to see you today. I guess you're here to interview for the Annihilator position. How long have you been an Iron Grenadier?"

:hasbronerd: "Um..Oh, not long at all."

:destro: "Do you have firearms training?"

:hasbronerd: "Yep. NATO, Eastern Block, and R&D."

:destro: "Excellent. How about explosives."

:hasbronerd: "TNT, C4, and thermonuclear."

:destro: "Impressive. Now pretend this pen is a missile. Try to sell it to me."

:hasbronerd: "Buy this missile or die!"

:destro: "Perfect. You are now an Iron Grenadier. Please go down the hall for further instructions on our training program."

* * *

:annihilator: "So how long have you been an Iron Grenadier."

:irongrenadier: "Um...oh, not long at all."

Author:  Tsunami [ Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Job Application for Iron Grenadiers

Awesome, that made me smile!

Author:  J_Man [ Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Job Application for Iron Grenadiers

So basically they're saying that Destro has no army, hehe.

Author:  Gaigaan-Dnok [ Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Job Application for Iron Grenadiers

:rotfl:
That's classic!



:hasbronerd:Where do you get your Iron Grenadiers?

:destro: Iron Grenadiers are handpicked from my personal bodyguards.

:hasbronerd:Who are your personal bodyguards?

:destro: Annihilators are my personal bodyguards

:hasbronerd:So where do Annihilators come from?

:destro: They are recruited from the ranks of my Iron Grenadiers.

:hasbronerd:WTF?

Author:  miragearmor [ Thu Mar 04, 2010 2:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Job Application for Iron Grenadiers

This is one of the funniest things I've heard since the "Chicken or the Egg" fiasco.


LOL :lol:

Author:  evilchuk1 [ Thu Mar 04, 2010 3:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Job Application for Iron Grenadiers

How many frickin' bodyguards does Destro have if he handpicks an army from their ranks?

Author:  Otto the Otter [ Thu Mar 04, 2010 7:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Job Application for Iron Grenadiers

If filecards had an IMDB entry, the goof nazis would be all over this one.

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