Joe’s Cantina
Episode 1: Some People Call Him the Space Cowboy
Nestled into the far corner of The Artifex (Interplanetary Port ID: FH01), opposite from Big Papa’s Spaceyard,* sits Joe’s Cantina - the best watering hole in orbit around the Fringe world of Farhaven. Never mind that it’s the only watering hole in orbit still open for business. If we’re being honest, there’s not as much traffic through JCs as there used to be. You could argue that the new state-of-the-art spaceport, planet-side on Farhaven, is to blame. But maybe there just aren’t the same number of adventurers heading into the “wilderness” of the Fringe worlds as there once was. Maybe Farhaven itself has become a destination rather than a waypoint. Either way, Joe’s Cantina is often the last chance to have a drink or maybe even a civilized conversation that most of the spacers who travel through here will have, for months at a time.
Some spacers just pass through. Or maybe they rent out a room in the last open-for-business hotel still operating on The Artifex and merely lurk outside the JC window looking in. But most of the regulars can be relied upon to pass back through and visit, whenever they are able.
I previously talked about one of those “men” – the famed bounty hunter, Lance Sputnik.** Here is another. Known by most as “The Space Cowboy,” he is Sputnik’s traveling partner, pilot and – to hear him talk – nursemaid as well. They have often joked about how they should make a weekly Digicam show about their exploits, but since they can’t agree on which one is the other’s sidekick in order to form a title, the populace of the galaxy has yet to enjoy the tragic comedy that might have been Sputnik and the Space Cowboy (or vice versa).
So anyway, let’s meet the Space Cowboy, aka Josephus Michaelangelo LXX, yes, the 70th male of the Michaelangelo line to bear the name. Though he likes to perpetuate the Space Cowboy mythos, he always signs his marker the same way: “JM70”.
He prides himself on his card-playing (interrupting games whenever he can, to join in), his guitar-playing, and his western themed flight suit. Though Sputnik often ends up as the muscle of the operation by default, JM70 likes to join the fray of capturing a bounty, whenever possible, mostly because he likes to give funny names to his finishing moves. His current favorite is the “Pick Punch” and yes it is just as painful as it sounds….
*(For more info on the station, see Big Papa's)
**As an addendum, here are the pics of Sputnik which I showed in another thread (in order to keep them consolidated). Included are some new details about Sputnik’s existence:
Episode 2: Bromancing the Stone
Excerpt from The Encyclopedia Avalonia
…similarly, it was not until humans were freed from the shackles of Earthbound scientific morality that the truly grotesque visions of the human mind began to come to fruition. For example, human genetic manipulation was never allowed to progress to the creative state, where humans were birthed with a pre-determined manipulated genetic code, given Earth's long developed moral belief structure. Nor were extreme and egregious attempts to divert death allowed in a society so governed by the past...
...only historians from future generations will be able to reveal if the loosened morality of space (as especially promulgated on the Fringe) was an accomplishment of human society or an abomination…
“Speaking of abominations, here comes one now!" the drunken spacer yelled out to noone in particular. There was little doubt as to who he was referring to, of course, as the two-ton figure emerging from hangar was remarkably close to serving as more than a mere figurative elephant in the room. The figure was none other than the man (using the term loosely at this stage) known as Sputnik.
Many legends had developed over the years as to Sputnik's origin. Some legends hold that he was literally a child of old Earth's Soviet Sputnik program. A human merged to machine who has traversed space for the eons since. Only the simple minded believed that to be true. The most prevalent theory was that the human part of Sputnik took this shape as a drastic medical/cybernetic response to an unspecified death defying accident or injury. The reality, it seems, was even more absurd. Sputnik, at least according to his own account, did this to himself. why? Because he merely wanted an upgrade.
Whichever combination of those reasonings held true, the current reality is that the man who became Sputnik went from an average human life, working an average human job, to becoming one of the most feared hunters on the fringe, if not all of space itself. With his (ahem) sidekick and pilot Josephus Michaelangelo LXX, they have torn a path from one Fringe world to the next in search of glory and bounties. Here at Joe's Cantina is where they blow most of their hard-earned credits.
And now a small glimpse of the JC itself:
JM70 walks the long corridors of The Artifex to get a cold draft
Though the hour is early, the Cantina is always open. Depositing what appears to be his bag in an open seat, The Space Cowboy takes a stool at the bar for himself with a view of the planet Farhaven.
{CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?} The digitized female voice of the Convenience Bot behind the bar asks him.
“What’s your name, friend?”
{I AM CONVENIENCE BOT AM-1. I AM PROGRAMMED TO SERVE}
“Well, I tell you what ma’am, can you turn on your holograph function for me? I haven’t talked to any human looking person – asides from Sputnik – in a month” he explained. “You do that for me, then I’ll order for me and my friend here.”
There was a slight flicker of the lights, and an electric sparkle sound before the robot named AM-1 became the much-more-pleasant-to-converse-with hologram “Ami” (with an “i”)…
“Now that’s much better” JM70 admitted.
“Before you order, I wanted you to know that Station Security has cleared the rest of your gear and delivered it to that table in the front.” Ami’s voice sounded MUCH better than did AM-1’s
“Much obliged, ma'am”
“Now what was it you wanted to drink?” Ami was still all business.
“I think I’ll have whatever draft you have on special from Harbinger Breweries. Oldest brewery on the Fringe. And since we’re here floating above it, it just wouldn’t seem right to drink anything else.”
“Our current specials are Nuclear Holocaust and a Plague of Locusts – both brewed by Harbinger.”
JM70 selected locusts: “I’ve had the Nuke draft before. They ain’t lying about the name of that one. And my friend here will have something we’ve come to call a PBR - Psychedelic Boilermaker for Robots. Half absinthe and half WD-40…”
“That’s the second time you’ve mentioned your friend, but I’m confused” the hologram admitted, seeing nobody with the spacer.
“Ahhh, yes, where are my manors…”
“Sputnik – Ami with an ‘i’. Ami with an ‘i’ – Sputnik.”
Sputnik spoke {GREAT… NOW, ABOUT THAT PBR?}
Just then JM70 got up to leave.
{WHAT GIVES DUDE?}
“Aaw "LASER BLAST". Man, I’ll be back – I just remembered that I left your funnel in the ship…”
---
Author's note - yes, sure there's an allegory here of sorts, even beyond the epic buddy cop movie that is Sputnik and Joemichaels. Mainly though I just wanted to inject some fun components into the sci-fi story I've already been writing. So yeah, the Cantina will have plenty of easter eggs, but the verse is still largely a straight up story.
UPDATE:
Ten minutes earlier...
Just 2 Arrivals today... back to being bored.
Wait. "LASER BLAST"! That's the Space Cowboy's gear. Forgot to take it to his room.
It is my DUTY to deliver this baggage on time.
It WILL get done.
"LASER BLAST"! Oh, hell, I'll just take them to JCs. He won't know the difference soon enough...
