drbindy wrote:
Will -
I like the concept of slightly more plausible versions of comic book heroes. And I like that you modified his story enough to make him new/distinct (as you said, a tribute creation), while having enough clues to show who you want him to represent.
I try to do similar things with the characters I bring into my verse, though some are more direct copies just placed into a different setting. I like your approach, but I do think I would do a couple things to sell it better. First, I'm not familiar with the name Long Haul, so I'm assuming that's an original component for you. I'm not sure how the inspiration character fits into that job description. I don't mean you shouldn't use him that way, I mean that unless I'm just missing something (always likely!), that I would like to learn via your backstory how this helps him fit into your verse.
I think you can also sell him better with better detailing. The trash can story I love. Helps paint the image of who he is. But maybe try to incorporate that into the figure. Not sure what I'd use, whether a styrene base or simply an existing shield that you modify to look like a trash can lid. I'd go a step further and the the maker of the lid be "start industries" so you'd have a basis to have this metal lid have a star somehow molded into the center of it. And I'm picturing it as being beat to hell too, just to keep it truly distinct from a shield. But maybe he's got a rope attached to it, as he's figured out how to throw it as a weapon, but needs to retrieve it easily.
Knowing how much his reputation improved after whooping everyone using the lid, he now carries it with him as a reminder or as a good lunch charm, as well as using it as a weapon.
I think that even though he was a trainer, and is seemingly a civilian agent rather than straight military, he should have a rank, real or honorary. I think you know what the listed rank should be. I'd just put that in his bio, if it were me.
the paint scheme is simple and straightforward. I don't think I'd change the way the figure itself is painted, because you don't want this "normal" guy looking like he's in a costume. But maybe the vest can be changed up a bit. When I do my similarly inspired character, I'm going to use a Beachhead vest, and have it be a base of blue, and have the clip pouches alternate red and white in color. Kind of a visual homage, without being a costume, as well. I like the star on the cap idea you have too, though if you had a valid basis to use an "A" that would be cool.
These are just my thoughts which might help sell him, but those all address ideas of yours I like to begin with. If he fits where you're headed, don't change a thing. But I see a lot of potential if you sell the link a bit more while keeping the distinctive points that make him yours.
The only part I'd have any critique of relates to the head. I like the cap, but the base head doesn't fit real well with the source concept, for me at least. I'd also tone down the goatee a touch.
This was one of those that started out as one thing then ended up being another. I originally just wanted to make a convoy driver that had that rugged semi driver look to him and decided on the name Long Haul. As I started making the figure, it just slowly drifted towards the Captain America homage, so then I just blended the ideas that I liked from both into one. I will probably track down one of the Cap shields from the Marvel battle figures line until the 3 3/4 line comes out and modify it a bit. As always thanks for your input as I will try and incorporate some of your suggestions.
