An old thread, I know, but I was inspired by
this topic to add to this list.
The SwapperThe Swapper wants to have the latest toys from Hasbro, but there's a problem - Hasbro has the audacity to charge money for them! (Can you imagine?!) Fortunately for the Swapper, he's got a plan. Give up a few of the luxuries he has now to make room in his budget for Joes? Nope. Get another job and use that money to fund his hobby? Not even close. No, the Swapper will buy whatever strikes his fancy, take out the figures, accessories and/or vehicles that he wants, and replace them with whatever garbage he can find at the bottom of the junk drawer. Then, he can return it for a refund, knowing the brain-dead slob at the Customer Service desk won't notice anything's wrong and put it right back out on the shelf. Sure, someone will come along and buy it, maybe a parent or grandparent who doesn't know any better, but why would that be his problem? The Swapper doesn't care about little things like the law, morality, or common decency, as long as he can save a few dollars on buying a plastic action figure.
Suitable (Ironic) Punishment: The Swapper should wake up one morning to find himself in a bathtub in a strange motel room. The bathtub is filled with ice, and there are tubes protruding out of the Swapper's lower back. Beside him is a note:
Quote:
We have taken your kidneys.
Do not be alarmed. There is no reason to call 911.
Although we have taken your kidneys, we have replaced them with two 1 lb. bags of kidney beans. After all, they were just sitting in our kitchen and we didn't want them and they're really kind of the same thing, right?
