SOULSDAY SOULSDAY SOULSDAY
Horrorween Fest 2077 be there and beware! Watch it all live on site via the huge holographic sky net. A week of terror filled raw excitement from the Easternmost reaches of the AMERICAS COLONY. As you wind your way through an outcropping of industrial facilities owned and operated by PLUV INC. bioengineering division that happens to be built upon remnants of an abandoned mining community named DERRY, which was also rumored to be built on ancient pagan burial grounds. Seven days of haunting tours, deafening concerts, frightening rides, and an exhibition of death defying stunts by the world renowned racers of ramjet supermoto enduro!

That's right race fans, Pluv Inc. in cooperation with Krink Inc., Spec Tech, and joemichaels Corp is bringing the race TO YOU. You can see your favorite RamJets up close and in person! You can even win limited access to the riders themselves through the elite VIP corporate sponsors and ballers pass.

Eat at the Planet Terror Scar and Grill. Play death defiling games at our Devils Playground midway. Take misguided tours through the haunted industrial park and dress to kill in this years theme "The Bullwinkle and Rocky Horror Picture Show"

Experience the thrills at home on virtual reality pay per view!

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On site 3 days before horrorween fest, something strange has been going on with Pluv Inc. personnel and security. They seem distracted as vendors, sponsors, and construction crews show up. Security patrols have increased and every one begins to feel the pressure. 2 days before and the abandoned industrial site begins to take on the shape of a carnival hellscape.

Pluv Inc. internal memo:
All environmental tests have proven negative for contagion and the resident test subjects show no sign of health effects. The threats to Pluv Inc. executives and festival sponsors are taken very seriously. Security has been alerted of possible attacks from protest groups and have been doubling their routine patrols. The festival will go on as planned.

Opening day/Day of the Dead
"This is AVE, The Main Event, here streaming live from Satans Alley/Uncle Wilkins Hard Grape Soda pavilion. Right in the heart of the Devils Playground midway. The 31st annual Horrorween Festival just got underway opening it's gates to a record breaking crowd of victims. I am here with the walking talking queen of screams herself, this years official mistress of ceremonies the sexy and exclusive clone of ELVIRA! Brought bakc to life for you by the science and history division of Pluv Inc."

"Oh yeah, a fiendly announcement from site security "Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things"

"Be sure to check out the RamJet Supermoto Enduro Jetbikes inside the Coliseum of Chaos. This might be your only chance to see your favorite teams and riders up close! Exhibition stunt shows are planned for every day of the festival! Buy official and customizable RamJet merchandise at the Spec Tech fan shop and digi-print kiosk."

"The sun has just set, but the action here is just getting started. The Devils Playground is lit by holo-torch light and on the rides classic incandescent bulbs crackle as they fade in and out. The Haunted Tours will run until sun up or until no one is left alive. No one is there to hear your screams or answer your call as the helpless masses are persued through an abandoned hell scape by the creatures of the night. Don't look behind, don't fall behind, you can't run, you can't hide. bwa haha......"

Internal comms Pluv Inc.
There have been several reports of festival goers attacking costumed personnel in the haunted industrial park. Security team alpha was sent into the first sector nearly 2 hours ago. Last Radio broadcast contact was unintelligible. Security team bravo is in route from satans alley.

"This is AVE coming to you live from the joemichaels corp. main sta- Hold on. I'm getting word that there is a disturbance outside of the main concert area."
From the announcement system: PLEASE STAND BY FOR AN EMEGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT!

"There is a report of an active shooter in sector 1, which includes the Haunted Tours and Devils Playground. Security personnel are to lockdown perimeter areas. Festival goers, remain calm. This is not a drill."

Boogie man has been dead done that so he knows exactly what the crowd is doing as it writhes in step, eating itself. He grabs Baby and takes off through the back lot. A quick comms call through the Superbeast repair vessels official RamJet secured line to all RamJet pilots.

Boogie man, "Hey guys wake up, sober up, or get ready to be some ghouls breakfast! Ignore all official announcements from Pluv Inc., event security, or even RamJet HQ. *LASERBLAST* has hit the fan! If you want to live, meet me at the coliseum now!"

"This is Boogie man again. No time to explain, but I have a feeling it's going to get ugly real fast. The Team Superbeast mobile HQ has enough raw fuel, fuel cells, and corn whiskey to fly to Mars and halfway back. I can control it's systems from the Dragula. It will be in near orbit in seconds."

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Pluv Inc. announcement over emergency system: Americas Colony citizens there is no need for alarm. An attack on our freedom has taken place, but Pluv inc. Along with your government are in control. These terrorists will be brought to justice. Please stay calm and in doors as there is a mandatory order to shelter in place. We will follow this warning with further information as needed.

"Just as the RamJets begin to take off, the security gates are breeched by ravinous fast moving zombies. Luckily the collective blasts of rocket engines and thundering exhaust keep the first wave at bay. The sun breaks in the east as the pack of riders head west."

"Race newcomer, D.E.S.T.R.O.K., being both racer and RamJet is out in front with BLACK NOVA right behind. Making up the rest of the lead group is HELLRACER, ARCLIGHT HAMMER, FIRST CLASS, SAS HORNET, and GREY GHOST. Unfortunately for Baby and Super Cop, they were so busy making sure everyone got out safely, that THUNDERKISS and the POLICE RamJet are bringing up the rear."



Checkpoint #1 Dead Heat
Standings:
D.E.S.T.R.O.K.
BLACK NOVA
Hellracer
Arclight Hammer
First Class
SAS Hornet
Grey Ghost
Dragula
Iron Griffen
Golden Idol
Suicide Tank
Firebreather
GyreJet
Shadow Cycle
Shadow Blade
Silver Streak
The Stingray
Shadow Wing
Rameleon
Thunderkiss
Police RamJet

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HAVOK: Well as the only actual RAMJET pilot up here on this platform I thought I was ready for this race to start, not so sure now

CROSS COUNTRY: Ol' Mr. Tuffguy can't gather his thoughts now, huh? Well I got news for you, Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, son.

HAYSEED: I pity the fool, Diddy.

HAVOK: Just shut your trap, I got this. It seems the apocalypse has started. A man’s got to know his limitations, I'm a little tired, little *wired*, and I think I deserve a little appreciation!

HAYSEED: That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, an aeroplane, and Lenny Bruce is not afraid

CROSS COUNTRY: Calm it down boys, lets get back to our reason for being here. Looks like we're still racing and we said we would be here lap for lap and that what we're going to do. What we do in life…echoes in eternity.

HAVOK: Alright Diddy, but he started it.

HAYSEED: You better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that moth....

CROSS COUNTRY: HEY HEY HEY, Thats enough I says. Well a quick rundown gives us the big ol shiny domed DESTROK leading the pack with Black Nova on his heels, umm back, neck, whatever, he's in second place. Hellracer tops off the three and is a perfect fit in this new hellish land.

HAYSEED: Boogity , boogity, boogity! This is gonna be more fun than Michael J. Fox can shake a stick at.

HAVOK: I'm going to take a pillowcase, and fill it full of bars of soap, and beat the....

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Stage #2 Children of the Grave

"AVE here from high above what's left of Horrorween Fest. Myself and the RamJet race coverage crew barely made it off the roof of Motel Hell!
We are patched in to the Omni net and in contact with RamJet HQ.
It's a real mess down there folks. If emergency services are accurate, this event is spreading fast in all directions.
WHOA! We just got passed by.....a pack of RamJets!"

"The RamJets plugging away across the ground just reached the largest cemetery on the East Coast. It seems the outbreak hasn't just affected the living!! 10,000 corpses fresh from their dirt naps just are going after the noisy machines that disturbed them."

"TEAM RED SHADOWS have formed a flying 'V' which appears to be protecting their flanks. I don't know if it was zombies, gremlins, or goblins, but some "Things" jumped onto FIRST CLASS causing it to spiral out into the POLICE RAMJET and the STINGRAY. The spiral made whatever was on twins' ride fly off and they were able to recover, but they've dropped way back from the front. The GOLDEN IDOL and the SUICIDE TANK capitalized on racers getting out to way to quickly fill the void."

"As the racers out in front quickly try to gain some alititude, the BLACK NOVA is out in front, while poor Lugg is left on the ground by himself. Luckily for him, the FIREBREATHER is a wrecking machine and is able to plow through the horde enough that he isn't getting swarmed."

After checkpoint #2 the standings are:

BLACK NOVA
D.E.S.T.R.O.K.
Golden Idol
Suicide Tank
Hellracer
Arclight Hammer
SAS Hornet
Grey Ghost
Dragula
Shadow Wing
Shadow Cycle
Shadow Blade
Iron Griffen
GyreJet
Silver Streak
First Class
Thunderkiss
Rameleon
The Stingray
Police RamJet
Firebreather

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CROSS COUNTRY: We are back with a quick update on our lineup. We've had some interesting developments as of late. Black Nova has taken the lead from The DESTROK. I tell ya, that reminds me of that black Nova I had back in the day. 454 big block bored 30 over. She was hot to trot and ready to go boys. Painted 'er black out back of the barn with a can of Krylon. When I laid down on the go juice, wern't nobody that could keep up.

HAVOC: Aight, Diddy, we know all about that car. Let's get back to the race at hand. This here is a RAMJET race and as the only RAMJET pilot here I gotta say this is shaping up nicely. Things done got mighty sticky down there in that graveyard with the corpses and whatnot jumping on board. I'm gone tell ya now, that's a situation I wouldn't want to be in. Reminds me of that time I flew into what I thought was the mouth of hell it ownself with those RadBat things attacking me a poisoning me. I hate them things, all 'cept FireEater. Best friend I ever had...

HAYBO: Best Friend! Really? Nevermind the brother that swooped in and saved your hindparts from certain death. I always thought we was best friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.

HAVOC: Sorry man, I got carried away. “We came into the world like brother and brother; And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.” You know who said that?

HAYBO: Ronnie Van Zant said that.

HAVOC: You're wrong, Ronnie Van Zant did not say that. Ronnie Van Zant said "If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?"

CROSS COUNTRY: Alright boys, glad y'all done made up again but those RAMJETs ain't the only thing that needs to stay on track. Tune in for our next update and now a word from our sponsor, a friend of mine back home in North Kackalacky, Tommy McLeery. The area's only showcase of fine Irish outdoor chairs and lounges, Paddy'O Furniture. When its outdoor sittin' you want to do, there only one place to go, Paddy'O Furniture. Come in for weekly deals before they are all gone. McLeery says they're always trying to steal his lucky cheers.

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The Boneyard

"This is RamJet HQ coming to you live from the studio. There is a large outbreak of an unknown origin over populated areas. Wrecked cars, burning buildings, and bodies being torn apart in the streets, have kept our racers' sky bound except for Lugg.

The lead pack of racers is now several hundred miles ahead of the FIREBREATHER. The RamJets equipped with comm links have turned them off, or torn them from their controls. The riders with drone capability have eyes even further ahead. Our last comm feed came from Cheetah on the IRON GRIFFIN."

"This is Cheetah to all racers, my drone is looking at more of the same up ahead. I have eyes on a structure on top of a mountain up ahead. lt doesn't look like anyone is around. Might be a good idea to take a pit stop and figure out exactly what we're running from."

"AVE here, no sooner did the leaders land when the disturbed earth all around the cabin started to come alive! Not only are living and dead humans effected, it now appears animals and animal corpses are as well! Skeletal bird remains got in the jet intakes of D.E.S.T.R.O.K. and BLACK NOVA, giving way to some new pack leaders. GOLDEN IDOL is out in front after some fancy quick maneuvering."

"Thanks AVE. We have a replay of what just transpired in the rear pack. Lance Sputnik, take us through it."

Sputnik: "This was a sneaky heads-up move! Zartan used his mirage technology on the RAMELEON to project a swarm coming towards the group. When the SILVER STREAK and THUNDERKISS took evasive action and swung wide to go way out around them, the RAMELEON went straight through taking a good size lead. The POLICE RAMJET smartly followed behind."

Checkpoint #3 Standings:
Golden Idol
Grey Ghost
Hellracer
Dragula
BLACK NOVA
D.E.S.T.R.O.K.
Arclight Hammer
Suicide Tank
Shadow Cycle
SAS Hornet
Shadow Wing
Shadow Blade
Iron Griffen
GyreJet
First Class
Rameleon
Police RamJet
The Stingray
Silver Streak
Thunderkiss
Firebreather

Army of Darkness
"AVE here folks, I'm told we are now broadcasting live throughout the entire colony. After a night of destruction I'm not sure if anyone is listening. If you are in an urban area be advised you are in extreme danger. I have witnessed the effected people- scratch that, bodies of the infected starting to band together, forming large roving mobs.

The racers have come back to the ground in order to converse fuel, but have found themselves dodging armies of the dead or is it undead? Freshly dead? Whatever they are have formed a sea of writhing bodies in the city streets that our racers have to navigate through."

RamJet Corporate announcement: "All riders and support craft are in violation of contract. The Eastern portion of the Americas colony has been quarantined. All aircraft are ordered to immediatly land."

AVE: "Well there is zero chance of that happening. We're coming up on the Columbiana Reservation for Indiginous Peoples or CRIP for short. The Americas Colony authorities have no reach into these tribal lands. If we continue along the coast, the racers should be out of their reach."

An Americas Colony drone wips past the leaders. "YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF EMERGENCY CODE 97B. LAND OR YOU WILL BE SHOT DOWN!"

A missle shoots out and hits the GOLDEN IDOL, but not cleanly. He's slowed but the pack still presses on. BLACK NOVA attempts to take out the drone but catches debris in his intake instead. D.E.S.T.R.O.K. uses the misdirection to take out the drone from behind. Meanwhile DRAGULA went full throttle through all of it to move out in front but burned a heck of a lot of fuel in the process. The SHADOW CYCLE bumped ARCLIGHT HAMMER into SUICIDE TANK causing a small pile up with SAS HORNET, SHADOW BLADE, and GYRE JET ending up on the bottom. IRON GRIFFEN jumped off the entire pile of bikes and ended up in the middle of the pack. FIREBREATHER with plenty of fuel left has been weaving his way from the back and is now trading paint with RAMELEON.

Checkpoint #4 standings:
Dragula
Hellracer
Golden Idol
Grey Ghost
D.E.S.T.R.O.K.
Black Nova
Shadow Cycle
Shadow Wing
Iron Griffen
Arclight Hammer
Suicide Tank
SAS Hornet
GyreJet
Shadow Blade
First Class
Rameleon
Firebreather
Police RamJet
The Stingray
Silver Streak
Thunderkiss

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Near Dark
“More Americas Colony smokey colored drones have arrived to put a stop to the racers as they make a run for it. One of the drones shoots an pulse weapon that DRAGULA dodges, but knocks out the HELLRACER bike right behind him.

With the drones above attempting to pick off the racers and hundreds of miles of rough terrain between them and the CRIP and it's protection, the pack makes a bee line straight across the wide open coal fields of central AC. The burning remnants of smolder and ash at least provide sound cover for them to hide in. BLACK NOVA with his intakes already damaged appears to be hampered by the thicker soot. The IRON GRIFFEN uses its drone to navigate a safer route and has moved towards the front.

We have finally crossed over into CRIP territory. DRAGULA pulled in on fumes with GOLDEN IDOL right beside him. Now as darkness closes in we see the rest of the pack come in where the only worthy mentions are that FIRST CLASS and THE STINGRAY used up the rest of their fuel reserves to jump ahead in the group.”

“Emergency Broadcast System: The attack on our freedom has taken many lives. AC top scientists are still investigating to determine exactly what threats the attack may pose. The electrical grid has been shut down to all but essential operations of emergency triage centers. The order to shelter in place has been extended to the entire AC. Stand by for further....”

Checkpoint #5 standings:
Dragula
Golden Idol
Hellracer
D.E.S.T.R.O.K.
Grey Ghost
Iron Griffen
Shadow Cycle
Shadow Wing
Black Nova
Arclight Hammer
First Class
Suicide Tank
SAS Hornet
GyreJet
Firebreather
Shadow Blade
The Stingray
Rameleon
Police RamJet
Thunderkiss
Silver Streak

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CROSS COUNTRY: Whooo doggies, there's been a lot going on out there and in here. Lots of lead changes to cover and a lot of great action that's been covered by our guys in the field. Y'all keep up the good work and we'll try to keep up with all that keepin' up.

HAY HEY HAI: Heck yeah, man. You gotta keep on, keepin' on. Life's a garden! Dig it! Alls I got to do is keep bein' a good person. No matter what, good things'll come my way. Everything's gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart.

HAVOK: Geeez, here we go again.

HAY HEY HAI: You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?

CROSS COUNTRY: BOYS!!!! Back to the race, NOW!!!! So we had Golden Idol, Hell Racer and The Dragula swapping the top three spots for a little bit while going through some of the nastiest obstacles I done ever seen. I have to admit that Golden Idol has got some nice moves on of the flashier RAMJETs I've ever seen. It ain't no CHAOS Machine but I like it.....

HAY HEY HAI: You can spend all your time making money
You can spend all your love making time
If it all fell to pieces tomorrow
Would you still be mine?

HAVOK: Take it to the limit, take it to the limit
Take it to the limit one more time

CROSS COUNTRY: Y'all done bout took me to my limit. Focus boys, focus on this race. As I was saying, those top three and four spots are what everybody is watching but don't take your eyes off the rest of the pack. Those guys are going just as hard back there. This race ain't easy on nobody and the only thing that keeps us watching up front is the number on the leader board.

HAVOK: You know, Diddy, you make a good point. Reminds me of my races out there strapped to the mythical mechanical beast, the RAMJET. I know you two can't relate but trust me, when you're riding that steel dragon and holdin' on for dear life, it's all you can do to worry about staying alive.

HAY HEY HAI: And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive

HAVOK: These races ain't about beating your opponents as much as they are about racing the environment and the tracks. You're also out there with yourself, fighting the urge to turn and run the other way, a mental boxing match, if you will. You've got to stay in that ring, you've got to face your biggest opponent ever in your life, your own fears deep down from the darkest pits of your soul. Because if you can't beat your fears and defeat your worries, you can never win the RAMJET races.

CROSS COUNTRY: Son, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul.

HAY HEY HAI: Cold blooded Daddy-o

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life is hard so is Uncle Wilkins Hard Grape Soda


work HARD.

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“Surely you can’t be serious about this hunk of trans-dimensional pig iron!?!”

“I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley! This Foot-thing-a-ma-sled has some serious gravitonics and horsepower. All I have to do is mate some controls, some sensors, and a pilots seat, and we got a bargain basement entry!”

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Dawn of the Dead
RamJet Reporter: "We're reporting to you from the Ram Stand as we just received word from RamJet Corporate that the ratings for our broadcast are through the roof and the racers are now being promised immunity from any breech of contract or penalty of law."

"They have officially dubbed this now sanctioned race- the midnight meat train......just kidding folks. They went with what the racers have been calling this odyssey - The Cannibal Run. Our racers are taking a momentry respite to refuel and recharge, body, soul, and machine. Tomorrow, at dawn, they ride."

"The Racers have hit the trail hard this morning but now face a split in the road. The leading pack has decided to risk the peril of open the sea as they travel the coastal waters under AC control. The waters are shallow, but are inhabited by giant cephalopods and rad sharks! OH NO! GREY GHOST just had one of his engines torn off by a leaping rad shark. He falls back and is trailing smoke. SUICIDE TANK and SAS HORNET were able to move ahead of the slowed down riders."

"The twins appeared to be undecided about which path to take until the ARCIGHT HAMMER made the decision for them and "nudged" FIRST CLASS towards the dry valleys of the former MS river basin. Although the wide arid valley provides cover, it is not without danger. The GYREJET is able to avoid one sandworm lurking just beneath the surface! But the SHADOW BLADE helps him find the waiting open mouth of a second. Blue Gyre and the FU Monkey are out of the-. HOLY COW!!!! STINGRAY just sent the RAMELEON into the outer belly of the beast causing it to cough up GYREJET covered in radioactive slime. Gross!"

Checkpoint #6a standings:
Dragula
Golden Idol
Hellracer
Iron Griffen
D.E.S.T.R.O.K.
Shadow Cycle
Grey Ghost
Shadow Wing
Suicide Tank
Black Nova
SAS Hornet

Checkpoint #6b standings:
Arclight Hammer
Shadow Blade
The Stingray
First Class
GyreJet
Firebreather
Police RamJet
Thunderkiss
Silver Streak
Rameleon

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